Wednesday, July 3, 2019


by Brandy Maki

Monday Morning, the Head of the Country addressed his citizens:

“She is a cunning one. Hailing from the depths of hell, she rains chaos, mayhem, and destruction down on the dwellers of Earth. Spitting on the face of Humans, she devours the innocent while assisting the wrong-doers. She has nothing but a tortuous, malicious mind. Of whom, you ask, do I speak? No other than the dreaded and infamous Mother Nature.

“For longer than man’s recollection spans, Mother Nature has been tormenting humankind. She spews down oodles of deadly, drowning slaver. She laps up the shores with her venomous tongue and destroys the land with her wicked breath. She dissolves the glaciers with her villainous gaze and quakes the ground with her abysmal cough. She has killed millions and will most likely kill millions, if not billions, more. What have humans done to deserve such torment? What have we done to receive such cruelty and hatred?

“It is evident that she will not stop. We have tried to compromise, yet she is unwilling. We have no choice but to take drastic action. The unceasing effort of Mother Nature to wipe out the Human Beings has placed us in a dire situation, a situation in which we must call to arms the forces of justice. We must apply our most extreme armor, employ our vast supply of weaponry, and utilize our greatest intelligence. Mother Nature is asking for an all-out war. 

“We must protect our children, our homes, our schools, and our churches from the wrath which Mother Nature brings. No more will we let her ravage our streets and demolish our homes, but instead we will defend and fight for our lands. We will step forth to the front lines. We will establish a highly knowledgeable coalition, filled with the finest experts, which will lead us in battle. We will make this land safe, once again, for our citizens. We will no longer have to worry whether our lives and homes will be spared by such a ruinous force as Mother Nature. We will prove to her that we are free and that we will live where we please without disastrous consequences. By leading the fight against Nature, we will liberate ourselves and our children. Freedom will be ours, and we will fear no more. We will claim Mother Nature herself as our own, and our victory will result in our ownership, our enslavement of her: the land, the air, and the sea.

“How will we battle such a behemoth as Mother Nature? It will take many of us; we must all join in the fight, and we must hold strong. We must not run from our shores; we must not leave our homes. Be it flood, fire, gale, or quake, we must stand our ground and face her with all of our might. She may take our homes, and she may take our lives, but in the end, we will be the victors. We will stay ‘til the end and finally we will become the Lords of the Land.

“Thanks to the hard work of our scientists and new technology, we now have years of research and data showing us every move of Mother Nature, making it easy to judge her next step. The scientists, together with the Federal Intelligence Force, have been formulating precise plans as to how we will stage our attack. We have learned the location of her vital areas, and we are now able to stage our fortifications.

“We must send out troops and begin construction right away. We will remold the land which Nature once used as a tool against us, and by doing so, we will create a land that will be used to our advantage; a land that benefits us. We will force Mother Nature to be our slave. We will reroute her rivers; we will build walls to contain her water. Her fires will not reach us nor will her quakes and gales take down our buildings. She has constructed the land in a way to murder us, and we will reconstruct the land in a way that will murder her. There will no longer be floodplains and fire zones to invoke fear on our people. Instead, the land will be beautiful and gentle for it will be everything we want it to be and nothing we don’t. We will be able to build our homes where we please.  We will no longer be taken by that evil wretch; for this is why we fight.

“This war is necessary to keep our citizens safe. We must come to arms with Mother Nature and show her that we will take her malice no longer. She is a terrorist, and we must stop her. From this point on, our country is at war.”


“It’s about time,” said Nathan to his fiancé. “I don’t know why they didn’t come up with this sooner. This is just what we need! They’ll force the river out of the district and developers will be begging for our new design. The ads you came up with are excellent. I think they will show everyone that we’re on the cutting edge.”

“Do you think they’re that good?” Tracy asked. “I wanted it to sound real, yet futuristic but not too far out there. Has Jack even seen them yet?”

“No,” replied Nathan, taking a bite of his bran flakes, “but I told him about them, and I plan to show them to him today.”

“What happens if they can’t do what they say they will?” said Tracy. “I mean, they have this wonderful plan to change the course of a colossal river. What if this is all just hype to get everyone involved and raise morale? What if they can’t do it?”

“Of course they can do it, Tracy,” said Nathan. “This is the FIF we are talking about here. I don’t think they hire any nerd off the street. Don’t worry.  The HOC knows what he is talking about. We have the strongest country in the world; if anyone is going to defeat Mother Nature, it’s going to be us.”


“This isn’t going to do any good,” Josephine said to a customer while keeping her eyes on the television.

“Wars never do any good,” replied the customer taking a sip of his coffee. “I reckon they'll be spending billions and billions of dollars on this war. And what will we get out of the deal? Nothing.”

“You’re right. Every time they come up with some bright idea to save the country, who does it end up saving? Not us! No, we’re just the ones who pay! A while back, when all those disasters were happening, a few of my neighbors were evicted because their housing assistance was cut. At the same time, I read in the paper that the funding was cut for the parks around town. They used to be so beautiful, and now they are in shambles. They take our money and give it to those idiots living on the edge of catastrophe. Instead of waiting for the car to pass, they jump out in front of it and yell stop. To hell with them.” Josephine, with a look of disgust on her face, reached up and turned off the television.

“Maybe the car will hit ‘em,” said the man after taking another drink of his coffee.

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